


Look up

by MochiCloud



Category: JO1 (Japan Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, M/M, not beta-ed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:54:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24805018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MochiCloud/pseuds/MochiCloud
Summary: Ren copes under the 'eyes' of Takumi
Relationships: Kawanishi Takumi/Kawashiri Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Look up

Look up.

If you look up right now, you might see me, you might not.

I float freely now in the skies, and I have never felt as free as I am.

I have always mentioned how I wished to be turned into a cloud after I die, and you would joke that it was impossible as you were a nonbeliever.

 _"Be careful of being charged of blasphemy."_ I would jokingly laugh and retaliate. But here I am now.

Don't worry, the sky is endless and it's never boring. There aren't games and Super Smash Bros here though, so you might not like it.

But. Without you, it's empty.

I watch as you go on with your everyday life. You live like a zombie and it pains me, although I shouldn't have any feelings left. You deserted your favourite game console and lived your life in your room.

You wouldn't budge even when Sho-kun and the other members tried to pull you out of bed. I smiled sadly, seeing how you were surrounded by many Ditto plushies, and you're hugging the one that I gifted you on our first anniversary.

However, the Ditto did not serve its purpose this time.

The Pokemon plushie had a constant smile on its face, and I gave it to you so that I can see your smile eternally.

But it's just wishful thinking that I could see that smile again on your face.

It was only after a month that you decided to step foot off your bed and home.

You walked down the streets like a lifeless human, as if you were the only one that matter.

If you would only raise and tip your head a little upwards, you would see a little white fluffy cloud following your every step. You would see my frown if you look really really closely.

You entered the tiny cosy cafe near our apartment, and sat down at the back, near the window, where I could see you clearly. I thank myself for insisting in always choosing the seats near the window when we went on dates.

You would always lament and asked why, since there wasn't any privacy.

_"I love to watch the clouds."_

I would always answer and you called me silly with an equally silly smile.

You hated the smell and taste of Matcha, but you ordered my favourite of Matcha Latte and set it opposite you. With blank eyes, you stared at the coffee with such emptiness that I thought you would start crying with just a gentle shove.

The sun was starting to set and I was becoming a warm orange and pink shade. The cafe's owner knew about your situation and did not question your prolonged stay. I resisted against all odds, which is actually, only the wind, just to stay above the cafe, looking down at you.

I was gradually turning grey as I thought of the memories we shared in that cafe. It was the place where you confessed to me and I blushed a pretty shade of pink.

_"I promise you eternal love, even in parallel universes."_

Before I could release my downpour on the innocent office workers who were going home from work, your chair scraped against the floor and the bells rang.

I continued floating behind you, like a GPS. You bought my favourite burger from that street stall and gave it to a nearby begger.

"Thank you! Thank you! You will find happiness!"

I could see how meaningless those words were to you as you smiled forcefully and willed your tears away.

You arrived at the beach where we shared our first kiss.

The skies were dark and it was about to rain. Humans were running for shelter, but you stayed.

The waves were crashing because of the strong winds. It would have been an emergency and danger to normal people, but you stood at the exact same spot where you cupped my cheeks in the gentlest way possible and landed your soft lips on mine.

Yes, I was disappointed when it was the only one that night.

As the humans predicted, it was pouring from the heavens less than a second after. I squeezed through the other angry clouds and stood directly above you. With whatever will I have left, I stayed the white innocent cloud I was and sheltered you from the ruthless rain, an endeavour to protect the one I love.

The shock in your eyes was evident.

You snapped your head up and bored your eyes into mine, even though it was impossible.

The windows to your soul cascaded waterfalls of tears. You screamed my name loud and clear. I was overpowered by your agonizing voice and intense sentiment of pain which shredded my heart into little pieces of clouds.

I stayed silent. You wouldn't be able to hear me anyway.

"Takumi! Is that really you?! I missed you so much!"

I really really wanted to reply you. That I missed you just as much. But it just wasn't possible.

"You really became a cloud. Just like you wished."

That was the first, sad, but genuine smile that appeared on your face since a month ago.

We stayed there for hours. Just him and me staring at each other.

All of a sudden, the other storm clouds started to float away, bringing rain into the sea. As the sun peeked out of the grey clouds, a glowing rainbow stretched out behind me.

I willed a gust of wind and it surrounded him. I appeared as a fading figure of wind and hugged him from behind. The tears stopped.

"Thank you. I will never forget this moment."


End file.
